White Christmas
by Dragonfly-Moonlight
Summary: Speed goes home for the holidays and receives an unexpected gift. Story 4 in the Life's Circumstances arc. ONESHOT


Disclaimer: I do not own Speed Racer nor the lyrics to "White Christmas." I just love the way the Temptations sing it!

* * *

"_I'm . . . dreaming of a white . . . Christmas . . . just like the ones I used to know . . . where the treetops glisten and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow . . ."_

Speed chuckled as he stepped out of his car, having finished with his Christmas shopping for his family and friends, though the gifts would stay in the car until the kids went to bed. No doubt Torie and his mother were baking up a storm – they both liked to listen to the Temptations singing "White Christmas" while they baked – and the kids were driving Spritle and Chim Chim up the wall with their crazy antics.

'And Pops must be out looking for a tree,' he surmised when he did not see the family van, wincing slightly at some pain in his lower back. The cold weather of Michigan did not agree with him anymore. Not that the weather in Pennsylvania agreed with him but it was not nearly as cold as Michigan. At least his remedy was not too far away this time. 'I'll have to get Torie to give me a massage later.'

Life, Speed noted, kept changing for him, and those changes, though not always for the better, were interesting at the very most. He and Torie were no longer dating each other. Something kept holding them back from truly loving each other – for Speed, he knew it was Trixie, his never-ending love for her, and how much he missed her in his life. At the time their relationship began to falter, he could not say what was truly holding Torie back. She harboured secrets she kept telling him she could never speak of to him, secrets he would never truly understand. Torie also confessed to him she still loved Ryan. As a result of these emotions of theirs, they had ended their relationship a few years prior, a few days before Torie announced she was pregnant with their daughter, but they still remained on friendly terms. Hell, their friendship had only grown stronger once the romanticism and the little details it involved were no longer in their way. Speed found he liked their relationship better that way. He paused for a moment, staring at the house he had grown up in, and smiled. Yes, life kept changing for him, but such was the way of life. He could not have asked for anything better.

With practiced ease, Speed made his way up the walk then entered his parents' home. The children were running around in the living room, laughing and squealing. The scent of cinnamon greeted his nose as he kicked the snow off his shoes and shrugged out of his jacket.

"Is that you, Speed?" a female voice called out.

"Yeah, Mom, it's me!" he replied, waiting for the inevitable pouncing by the three young children that he claimed as his own.

And he did not have to wait long, either. With a chorused cry of "Daddy!", two little boys – one with dark hair and blue eyes, the other with blonde hair and hazel eyes – and a little girl with curly, light brown hair and grey eyes greeted him.

"Hey, there," he smiled, wrapping his arms around the little ones, kissing foreheads as he did so. "Have you been behaving?"

"No, they haven't!" Spritle shouted out, obviously sulking about something.

"Spritle, that's enough," his mother admonished. Torie stepped out of the kitchen, shaking her head and wiping her hands off with a green Christmas towel.

"They've been fine," she murmured. "Typical little children at Christmastime."

"So why is Spritle upset?"

"_That_ I don't know," Torie replied, picking up the six- and four-year-old boys. "He's been like this since we got here this morning."

"The drive wasn't too bad then?" He picked up his two-year-old daughter then followed Torie into the kitchen.

"Not at all, actually . . . especially since we flew in. Your mom picked us up shortly after you left to do your shopping."

Speed raised an eyebrow at her as they situated the children at the kitchen table and handed them some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Torie shrugged as she went back to helping his mother bake the usual assortment of Christmas goodies.

"We couldn't leave until late last night. Something came up, and I figured a flight would be easier with three kids."

"Makes sense, I guess . . ." he trailed off as he snagged a snicker doodle to munch on before preparing sandwiches for the children. He wanted to know what could have come up to delay Torie but knew better than to press her when she did not want to talk right away. It was a quality of hers that irked Pops to no end. Of course, he had never really cared for Torie, had argued vehemently with Speed about his decision to move to Philadelphia, and about his involvement with her. In the end, however, it was Speed's decision, and it was one he did not regret in the least.

'Another thing for him to complain about later,' Speed thought ruefully, trying to ignore the growing twinges of pain in his back. 'It was my choice to move. I couldn't stay here. Not with all of the memories of Trixie here . . . He should learn to accept it and try to understand . . . for my sake.'

"Speed, are you all right?"

He blinked to see his mother, the children, and Torie gazing at him. Both his mother and Torie were frowning, concern mirroring in their eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine . . . Why do you ask?"

"You're squirming," his ex replied. "Like your back's bothering you . . . Weather's getting to you, isn't it?"

At their expectant gazes, Speed sighed, averting his eyes. He could not fool them, no matter how hard he tried. They just knew him too damned well.

"Yeah . . . Just a little."

"Go lay down then," Torie commanded. "Your mother and I have everything under control in here. If we need anything, we'll give you a call."

"Are you sure?"

"We're sure," his mother supplied. "We don't want you to over exert yourself."

"If you're sure . . ." he hesitated, dubious if he should take a rest.

"Go!" Torie pointed towards the stairs. "We're sure. Ask us again and I'll carry you up the stairs myself!"

The children giggled at that, even though Speed knew that Torie was quite serious. He had dared her try picking him up once, in front of his parents and Sparky no less. No one had expected her to be able to lift him and carry him, but she had tried and nearly succeeded, much to his embarrassment and to the amusement of Sparky and his parents.

"I'm going, I'm going," he chuckled, ruffling his daughter's curly locks then making his way to the stairs.

"I'll be up in a bit to check on you," Torie stated. "There's something I need to talk to you and the whole family about at some point."

"All right," he murmured, taking the steps slowly. Speed had a rather good idea as what she intended to tell him. For the last several weeks, she'd been seeing someone. At least, that was what he suspected. Every time she got a call on her cell phone, Torie left the room. When the call ended, she would emerge into the room, her eyes shimmering with either a great happiness or a great mischievousness. And he was certain that the calls had not stopped since he had come home for the Christmas holiday two weeks before.

'Guess I should have seen this coming,' he mused, stretching out on his old bed. His back felt better for it in a matter of seconds. Maybe he would not need Torie to give him a massage after all. 'I mean, I know she kept telling she wasn't ready to date anyone, that she thought she never would be, but things do change. She is older than I am, and she does have the right to find someone to please her. She's strong, beautiful, and intelligent. She deserves to be happy, just like I deserve to be happy.' He let out a soft sigh. 'The strange thing is, I'm happy for her. I want her and the children to be happy. Especially since we've already made our decisions . . . We can never forgot those who truly hold our hearts.'

With a yawn, his last thoughts were of a certain brown-haired, emerald-eyed girl that he had never stopped loving . . .

* * *

Rachel Racer watched as her son shuffled up the stairs before turning her attention to the blonde-haired woman who occupied the kitchen with her. She knew the younger woman had dealt with more than her fair share of flack since Speed had gotten involved with Torie. Her husband had never really approved of Torie, and the blonde had never been too impressed with him, either. The two constantly butted heads where Speed and the children were concerned, though that was also their mutual agreement point. Torie encouraged Speed to find other ways to enjoy racing and to put himself behind the wheel of a racecar once more. Richard had encouraged Speed as well but had wanted him to become an executive at Racer Motors, more specifically he wanted Speed to be the head of public relations. Both of their suggestions meant Speed returning to school, to continue his education, and everyone had been overjoyed when Speed agreed. Ultimately, Speed had opted to work part-time for his father and pursue a career option that had taken everyone by surprise: He became a writer, publishing racing stories, both fictional and non-fictional. And he had become very successful at it as well. Pops often kept boasting of Speed's success whenever he received the change.

However, it had not eased the friction between Richard and Torie, especially since she was older than Speed by at least ten years. If anything, things had gotten worse and Rachel believed that their stubbornness had finally driven a wedge between Speed and Torie.

'And now she's acting mysterious-like, as if she's going to ask Speed to move back in with her or something,' she shook her head. 'Richard isn't going to like this. I just hope everyone can keep their tempers reigned in. It's Christmas!'

"Torie . . ."

"Yes, Rachel?"

"What's going on between you and Speed?" she asked. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah," Torie nodded. "Everything's fine."

"So what's going on? Are you and Speed going to get back together?"

"What? Oh no," Torie chuckled. "Nothing like that."

"Then what is it?"

Torie just smiled then ushered the children into the living room. The sounds of a movie greeted her ears. _The Santa Clause_, she guessed. The children really enjoyed watching such movies. Then Torie walked back in.

"Torie, what's going on?"

"Rachel, promise me that, if I tell you this, you won't say anything to _anyone_ until I've said something to them. I don't want my surprise to go to waste."

She tilted her at Torie's expression. There was something there . . . hope and joy mixed with disbelief and an uncharacteristic somberness.

"You're serious about this, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Sit down," Rachel commanded, pouring them both some coffee. "Tell me everything and I promise I won't say anything until you do."

* * *

Speed's eyes opened to the sound of children laughing and squealing once more. With a slight groan, he rolled out of bed, and ambled out of the room.

'They said they'd wake me up if they needed me.' He wiped his eyes before heading down the stairs. His mother and Torie were in the living room with the children and Spritle, the two women drinking coffee and giggling. Pops was fiddling with the lights while Torie and his mother tried to get the children to hang the ornaments on the Christmas tree. The kids noticed him first.

"Daddy!"

They swarmed around him, giggling up a storm. Torie glanced at him and smiled.

"Morning, Sunshine!" she chirped. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," he replied. "What's going on?"

"We have some company coming. They should be here within the next hour, and we wanted to have the house ready before they get here," Torie answered as she pulled the gold tinsel garland from a box. Pops handed her a string of lights as she approached the tree again. "Thanks, Richard."

"Speed, would you be a dear and pour the kids something to drink? We have some fruit punch and some milk in the refrigerator," his mother stated.

"Sure . . ."

Herding the children into the kitchen had been fairly easy. The next hour passed rather peacefully, and Speed noted that Pops and Torie were actually laughing and working together. It warmed his heart to see it. Then Rex and his fiancé, Sierra, arrived, followed by Sparky and Janine. Speed had just sat back down when Sparky asked, "Hey, where's Trixie?"

"On her way," Torie replied, grinning. "As well as one more."

"Is Trixie really on her way?" Rex frowned.

"She promised me she'd be here," the blonde-haired stated before settling her gaze on Speed. He could not help but feel a little shocked. Trixie? On her way here? It sounded unbelievable, especially since he and Trixie had lost touch when she had left Germany.

"How is this possible?" he whispered. "How'd you find her?"

"She . . . found me, actually. That was one of the reasons why I was delayed in coming. I didn't think anyone would mind if I invited her to join us. This is my Christmas present to you, Speed. I know how much she means to you."

"Thank you," Speed smiled, holding his hand out to her. "You have no idea as to how much this means to me."

"Oh, I think I do," she smiled back, taking his hand.

"Who's coming with her?" Sparky inquired. "I know when I talked to her she said something about having a kid with her . . ."

"A little boy, his name is Jake, and he's a little younger than what Mackenzie is. And, yes, she did give birth to him," Torie explained. "But she isn't married. From what she told me, the father doesn't even know he exists. She didn't say anything more than that. Other than Jake, she's coming by herself."

"So who else is coming?"

Torie paused for a moment then drew a deep breath.

"Well," she began, "it's someone from _my_ past, someone who means as much to me as Trixie does to you, Speed . . . The rest of you might want to sit down . . . Because what I have to say will come as a shock. I know because I'm having a hard time believing it myself."

* * *

Trixie let out a small sigh of relief the moment she put her car in park in the Racers' driveway. The drive from Raleigh had been nerve-wracking as the roads had been slippery, putting her on edge. Thankfully, Jake had been quiet during the drive. She did not need to be distracted as she drove. The last thing she wanted was to wreck her car with her baby inside. With the car in park and the engine cut, a soft smile touched her lips as the house practically glowed from the Christmas lights, on the inside and out.

At first, she had felt extremely nervous about showing up at her former beau's parents' house, especially with Torie and her children there, but the blonde-haired woman had convinced her to come. The Racers, Torie had said, missed her greatly. Speed, especially, missed her, and he had been heart-broken after they lost touch with each other. It still did not stop the butterflies from fluttering around in her stomach, and she took a deep breath to calm herself.

'Here goes nothing,' she told herself, climbing out of her car then retrieving her son from the back. She did not even pay attention to the sound of snow crunching under someone's feet, figuring it to be a passerby. Until . . .

"Need some help?" a masculine voice inquired. Her heart leaping into her throat, Trixie whirled around to see a dark-haired man standing twelve feet away from her. He raised his hands apologetically. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you. I was just heading for the door when you pulled up, and I thought I'd give you a hand."

Trixie narrowed her eyes some as she inspected him. He wore a long, black leather trench coat, dark blue denim jeans, military style boots, and his hair was dark and wavy, his eyes a vibrant blue. He seemed familiar to her somehow, like she had seen him once before.

"Sure," she hesitated, "I have some gifts that need to come in . . . Have we met somewhere once before? You look familiar to me . . ."

"I don't think so," he blinked, his expression thoughtful. He then extended his hand. "My name is Ryan O'Connell. Torie told me that she'd be here."

"Ry . . . an . . . O'Connell?" She felt the blood rushing from her face. The last time she had heard that name and saw his picture, it had been front-page news, his death being announced.

"Yeah . . . I know. I look very good for a dead man," he chuckled. "I don't think Torie's gotten over the shock herself."

"How . . ." Trixie released Jake from his car seat and held him close as she shut the car door. She then unlocked the trunk and started pulling out large shopping bags. Ryan held on to as many as he could before she began to hold on to a few herself.

"Would you believed there'd been a mix up in the ER the night of the car accident? Somehow, there was another man that looked like me in the ER, and the doctors confused us," Ryan explained as she handed him her packages. "I was in a coma for four years. When I woke up, I didn't remember much of anything, only that there had been a blonde-haired woman in my life and what my name was. My memories came to me in a jumbled mess and I spent the last two years trying to figure out the jigsaw puzzle that was my life."

The trunk slammed shut and Trixie faced the blue-eyed man assisting her. His story sounded exactly like Speed's, only more severe and more devastating. He lost six years of his life instead of one, and his child grew up knowing another man as "daddy". Ryan also had the same broody look as he had in his and Torie's engagement announcement picture, but, in person, there was a kind of softness to him that no professional photograph could ever capture. She thought she could see why someone like Torie could be drawn to him.

"You still love Torie . . . don't you?"

"With all of my heart," Ryan replied as they headed for the Racers' front door. "I know everything I said sounds like some poorly written soap opera but . . ."

"Truth is stranger than fiction," Trixie finished. She was about to knock on the door when the knob turned and Sparky appeared in the door, allowing them in . . .

* * *

The lights had gone down throughout the entire house. Children had been tucked in, his parents and his siblings had gone to bed, and Torie and Ryan had retired only a few moments before. Sparky and Janine had quietly excused themselves and left, stating they had an early day the next morning. Speed took Trixie's hand in his.

"I'm glad you're back, Trixie . . ."

"I know," she smiled warmly. "I'm glad that I got a hold of Torie when I did, though she never mentioned Ryan being alive to me."

"She never mentioned it to me, either. I'm happy for her, though . . . He really brings out the best in her."

"It's like they were never apart, the way they were looking at and holding each other . . ."

"No . . . What about you, Trixie? I lost track of you when you were in Germany . . ."

"It's a long story, Speed . . . I'm sure you're tired . . ."

"Not really," he admitted with a chuckle. "I'd only been up for an hour when you and Ryan arrived."

"Is that so? Well . . . I guess you could say Germany is where everything began . . . Kyler and I parted ways in Berlin. He wanted to say in Europe for a while longer and I wanted to come home, settle down and have some stability. I still wasn't sure if I was ready to see you just yet but I knew it was time for me to head to the U.S." She let out a laugh. "It was one thing he kept saying. When you've reached full circle, you'll know when it's time to return to the one you love. I hadn't reached that point yet, I guess. Anyway, I landed in Dallas, though why there, I have no idea . . ." Her voice trailed off. Speed gazed at her, a frown crossing his face. Something terrible had happened to her there. He could see it in the way her eyes shimmered. Clasping her hand in his, he waited for her to continue.

"I'd been there for a few years, actually. I'd traveled with Kyler for only eight months. I don't know why I stayed there . . . maybe for a bit of stability with a change of scenery. I guess I just wanted to see how well I could do on my own before I came back. Traveling with Kyler taught me how to adapt to my surroundings and be aware of what's going on around me . . . I learned some self-defense and have always managed to keep my own in a fight . . . It wasn't enough, though. I never even saw his face . . ."

"I'm sorry, Trixie . . ." His heart twisted at her words. Even though she had not said it out loud, he knew what had happened to her, and he wanted to rip the guy's throat out for hurting Trixie like that.

"It wasn't your fault, Speed," Trixie told him. "Just like it wasn't mine or anyone else's except for his. It happened . . . I can't explain it any better than that . . ."

"I know but it doesn't stop me from feeling the way that I do, Trixie," he stated. "It shouldn't have happened. At all."

"I know, Speed, but it did happen. I can't go back in time to change it. And because of it, I have Jake and he's been such a joy for me. I wouldn't give him up for the world. Just like I know you wouldn't give up Little Greg and Mackenzie for the world. They're your babies and you love them."

"Oh Trixie . . ."

"I'm going to be moving back to Philadelphia, Speed," she stated, abruptly changing the subject. "I told Torie that and she said you still lived there."

"Yeah . . . About three houses away from hers so I can see my kids . . . Won't that be a long haul from Dallas, though?"

"North Carolina, Speed."

"Huh?"

"I live in North Carolina," she smiled. "Raleigh, to be precise. As I never reported the rape, I just packed up and left. It took me two weeks but I managed. I didn't even know that I was pregnant when I did. I know I should have reported it but I didn't. I couldn't. At the time, I couldn't bear the same of telling anyone what had happened. I just didn't want to be tied to Dallas anymore, either. That's when I ended up in North Carolina."

"And now you're moving to Philadelphia."

"Yes . . . I want to give us another chance, Speed. I know I was a fool not to believe in you and I've regretted letting you go every day since then . . . You're the only one for me, the only I want to be with."

"For the rest of your life?"

"For the rest of my life. I've seen how you are around Little Ryan, Little Greg, and Mackenzie. I'd like for you to be that way with Jake . . . I love you, Speed. I've never stopped loving you."

Their eyes met. Before he knew it, he had locked lips with her, a sweet fire igniting his veins. He hadn't felt this way in a long time. Torie had made him feel alive, she had opened up possibilities for him that he never imagined, but he never felt quite like this with her. Trixie was the one, she always had been. With the snow falling gently outside, their kiss deepened. Christmas truly felt like Christmas again.

The End


End file.
